i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
