"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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