what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize