She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
