They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
