We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
