belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
