Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
