Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
