i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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