he puts the penis in happiness.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
