so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
