Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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