its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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