We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
