that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
