After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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