I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
