college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
