All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love you.
Bad choice
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
