apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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