Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
