Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
