first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Holy shit dude........stairs
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