I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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