Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
