C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
