Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
