My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
