lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize