I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i drank out of a bidet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
