Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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