at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
