I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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