mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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