I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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