tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
