i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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