his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think people are normalizing furries
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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