Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
