I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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