oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This toilet bowl is my home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
