His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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