I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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