smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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