Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
