We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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