I'm so fucking centered right now
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My penis needs a shock collar
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fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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