At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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