i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Can Purell be used as lube?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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