I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
