I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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