lets start a swedish sibling band together
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
