woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
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He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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