This girl is more easily done than said...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
