We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
