i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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