He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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