If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
