i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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