Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize