need another drink. this is the easiest way
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize