He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm at about main and main street
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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