Your tits are I can't wait for
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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