we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
